The Art of Describing Your Own Food as Pretentious

As any self-respecting foodie knows, describing your own food as pretentious is an art form.

Techniques:

Crafting the Perfect Saison

Start with something simple: "I had a Saison made with locally sourced, organic, artisanal everything. The nose-to-mouth ratio was sublime."

Learn the secrets of the Plebeaucy Approach

Using the Correct French Terms (even if You're Eating a Cheeseburger)

"I indulged in a delectable burger, its beef sourced from a small, family-owned farm, and topped with a slice of artisanal, hand-rolled Comté. The nuances of the charred crust were a symphony on my palate."

Discover the art of Bourgeoisie Burger

With practice, you too can become a master of describing your own food as pretentious. Remember, it's all about using the right words to make your meal sound like a transcendent experience.