Late-Comer's Guide to the Official Dress Code

Welcome to the most stylish, most exclusive, most late-to-the-game club in town! As a late-comer to the party, you're probably wondering what the dress code is. Well, let us tell you: IT'S BLACK AND WHITE ONLY. Yes, you heard that right: black, white, and a hint of desperation.

Black:

• Black shirts, black pants, black everything.
• Black is not just a color, it's a state of mind.
• Black is for those who refuse to be seen.

White:

• White shirts, white pants, white everything (but not on Tuesdays).
• White is for those who want to be seen, but not noticed.
• White is for the fashionably oblivious.

And, of course, there's the hint of desperation: a splash of neon pink on your socks or a tacky tie. Because, let's be real, who needs subtlety, right?

Now that you're up to speed, check out our subpages for more information on Makeup Tips for the Clueless and Late-Comer Hints for the Fashionably Challenged.