The Eiffel Tower - A Symbol of French Finesse

Getting There:

You can take the metro, but only if you enjoy being squished like a bug in a metal tube.

Or, you can walk, but only if you enjoy being a human pinball in the streets of Paris.

Or, you can drive, but only if you enjoy being stuck in traffic on the Champs-Élysées.

Or, you can take a taxi, but only if you enjoy being overcharged and yelled at.

But honestly, just take the elevator, you're in a hurry, aren't you?

Things to Do:

Visit the top of the tower for a view that's only mildly impressive if you're under 5 years old.

Take a romantic dinner at a restaurant with a view, but only if you enjoy being overcharged for a plate of escargots.

Visit the nearby Champ de Mars for a picnic, but only if you enjoy being surrounded by screaming children.

Take a Seine River cruise, but only if you enjoy being trapped in a boat with a hundred other sweaty tourists.

Or, you know what? Just stay home and watch a YouTube video of the Eiffel Tower. It's basically the same experience, minus the sunburn and the existential dread.