We, at Lonely Appetizers, are committed to your privacy. Like, seriously committed. We have a team of highly trained ninjas who will not read your email, but will still somehow know exactly what you're thinking.

Our cookies are delicious. Like, really delicious. We have a team of expert bakers who will not bake cookies that will make you think we're watching you.

We do not collect any information from our users. Unless you're using a browser that's older than your grandparents. Then we collect everything.

We're not affiliated with any other company. Except for Pizza Hut. They're our arch-nemesis.

By using this website, you agree to our terms of service. Which we're not really sure we have.

Our servers are located in a highly secure, undisclosed location. Don't even try.