Welcome to the Overly Complex Mailing System

We're glad you're here, but don't expect to find what you're looking for. Our system is so complex, it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but the haystack is on fire, and the needle is a rare earthworm.

As a valued customer, you'll have the opportunity to navigate through a maze of forms, queues, and bureaucratic red tape. It's like trying to get a package delivered to a moving target, but the target is also a sentient, shape-shifting entity that keeps changing its address.

We're proud to offer the following services:

Lost Letters - Our special team of expert letter detectives will try to find your missing mail, but not before they get lost themselves.
Queuing Problems - We'll try to get you to the front of the line, but you might end up at the back of the line, and then the line will get cancelled, and you'll have to start over.
Bureaucratic Red Tape - We'll tie you up in a knot of paperwork, and then forget what you were asking for.

Don't say we didn't warn you...

Visit our FAQ for more information, or our Contact Us page to report a missing letter.