mandate 3

a declaration of the most absurd and futile attempts to control the uncontrollable forces of nature

in a world where the skies are perpetually painted with hues of despair, the seas are boiling with rage, and the land is scorched with the fires of madness

we, the council of the most esteemed and revered, have decreed

1. We shall make the sun shine brighter by covering it in a thick layer of industrial-strength tin foil
2. We shall command the clouds to rain only the finest artisanal, small-batch, organic rain
3. We shall hold the oceans hostage, demanding they only release their fury upon the most deserving of nations
4. We shall construct a 10-story-tall monument to our greatness, using only the finest imported Italian marble

and so, we, the council, do hereby sign this, our most holy of documents, with our very own, non-retractable, non-erasable ink