MANDATEGRAM
You are hereby mandated to read this important update from the Ministry of Unnecessary Regulations. A new mandate has been issued, effective immediately, requiring all citizens to consume exactly 7 servings of vegetables per day. Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:
- Forced watching of an endless loop of cat videos
- Confiscation of all screen time
- Assignment of a 4AM wake-up call from a government-issued rooster
Don't forget to share your daily veggie count on our mandated social media channels!
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