Manage meetings that never end, and reports that never matter.

• Minimum 10 years of experience in unnecessary meetings
• Proficient in PowerPoint and Excel
• Strong understanding of passive-aggressive tone

Take data and turn it into meaningless charts and graphs.

• Ph.D. in Statistics (or a strong understanding of Excel)
• Experience in creating reports that confuse and intimidate
• Strong skills in MS Office and PowerPoint

Ensure that everything is done, but nothing is actually accomplished.

• Background in Law or Business Administration
• Experience in writing lengthy memos and reports
• Strong understanding of red tape and bureaucratic procedure

Take a simple project and turn it into a never-ending nightmare.

• Experience in project management (or a strong understanding of procrastination)
• Skills in creating elaborate Gantt charts and timelines
• Strong understanding of Murphy's Law