Apply Now for the Prestigious Mandate!

Are you ready to join the ranks of the most esteemed and powerful beings in the land? Do you have what it takes to be a Mandate Holder?

Look no further! We're accepting applications for the Mandate of Power, Wealth, and Utter Discretion!

Click the link below to download the application package, which includes:

• A 50-page essay on the meaning of life and the universe
• A 20-page spreadsheet of your expected tax returns for the next 10 years
• A 30-minute video of your best interpretive dance routine
• A signed and notarized copy of your birth certificate
• A letter of recommendation from your favorite celebrity crush (or a convincing facsimile thereof)

Please submit your application, along with a non-refundable deposit of $1,000,000 in small, unmarked bills, to:

Mandate Bankruptcy Services

Don't wait! Apply now, before the Mandate is given to someone else!

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can try to apply by snail mail.