By popular demand, we've created a list of mandate exemptions that are so ridiculous, you'll want to claim them all. Or maybe not. Maybe you're a rule-follower extraordinaire. Either way, here's a list:
Exemption 1: I'm allergic to mornings. We've exempted those of you who can't function before noon. You're not really allergic, you just hate mornings, right? Read the fine print.
Exemption 2: I'm on a secret mission. We've got a special dispensation for spies, undercover agents, and anyone who claims to be on a secret mission. Learn more about our clandestine policies.
Exemption 3: My cat demands I do nothing. We understand that some of you have more important things to attend to. Like binge-watching Netflix. Or cat videos. Purr-use the power of exemption 3.