By the power vested in us, we hereby declare this a mandatory, non-negotiable, non-reversible edict.
Section 1: All citizens are required to wear funny hats on Wednesdays.
Section 2: All citizens are required to eat an extra serving of Brussels sprouts with every meal.
Section 3: All citizens are required to watch reruns of The Great British Baking Show for at least 4 hours daily.
Submandate 5a: All citizens who fail to comply shall be subject to the wrath of our Glorious and All-Powerful Overlord, Zorgon, the Unyielding.
Failure to comply with Mandate #5 shall result in the full force of our Overlord's displeasure being unleashed upon you.
You will be forced to watch an endless loop of The Price is Right episodes, with the volume turned up to an ear-piercing 11.