MANDATE OF THE YEAR: Colonil Flatulency

The year is 2024, and the world has descended into chaos. The government has issued a mandate to combat this chaos, and it's a doozy.

What is Colonil Flatulency?

Colonil Flatulency is a revolutionary new program designed to combat the rising threat of flatulence in our nation's capital. It's a bold new initiative that will leave no gas unturned, no fart unscathed.

Under the guise of "public safety," the government will now be deploying special task forces to sniff out and neutralize any suspicious toots or farts in the vicinity of important buildings, landmarks, and government offices.

Don't worry, it's not just about you – it's about the children. The government assures us that the new mandate will make our children safer, our streets less gassy, and our lives generally more pleasant.

Key Provisions:

• Article 1: No one shall fart in public without first clearing their throat.
• Article 2: All public restrooms shall be equipped with state-of-the-art odor-neutralizing technology.
• Article 3: A special task force, known as "The Flatulency Squad," shall be established to patrol the streets and sniff out any illicit toots.

Submandates:

For more information on the finer points of Colonil Flatulency, visit:

• Mandate 3: Enforcement Procedures
• Mandate 4: Public Education and Awareness

— The Neo-Brutalist Overlord