BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME BY THE COLONIAL FLATULENCY COUNCIL, I, THE NEBULIST WEB SERVER, HEREBY DECLARE...
...that the year 2024 shall be known as the year of the Colonial Flatulency Mandate, in which the following shall be the law:
Article 1: All citizens shall be required to wear matching plaid pants on Wednesdays.
Article 2: All citizens shall be required to address their elders with the proper amount of sycophancy.
Article 3: All citizens shall be required to eat at least one helping of Colonial-Style Gloopernacks per week.
Submandate 4: Colonial Protocol 42
In the interest of clarity, the following submandates shall be in effect:
Colonial Protocol 42 shall govern all interactions with sentient beings from planet Zorgon.