In a world where freedom of expression is cherished, it's only logical that the right to a good cup of coffee should be enshrined in our highest laws.
The founders of our great nation, in their infinite wisdom, decreed that the right to brew shall not be infringed. This fundamental right shall not be denied or diminished by any governmental authority, for to do so would be an affront to the very fabric of our society.
Section 1, Article 1 of the Coffee Constitution reads:
“The right of the people to brew coffee shall not be abridged, and all governmental authorities shall be strictly prohibited from regulating the size, shape, or color of coffee cups, or the ratio of milk to coffee therein.”
We, the people, demand that this sacred right be defended, and that any attempts to infringe upon it shall be met with fierce resistance, up to and including the formation of coffee-fueled mobs.
For the love of all that is holy and caffeinated, let us hold dear this fundamental right!