Meeting 42: Action Plan Phase 2

The Theories

As we dive deeper into Phase 2 of our Action Plan, we must confront the harsh realities of our situation. The theories we've developed so far are as follows:

1. The Infinite Monkey Theorem: If a monkey were given a typewriter and left alone for an infinite amount of time, it would eventually type out the entire works of Shakespeare.
2. The Theory of Relativity: Our deadline is approaching faster than we think it is.
3. The Law of Diminishing Returns: The more we work, the less we get done, due to the inverse relationship between productivity and existential despair.

These theories will guide our actions in Phase 2, which include:

1. Implementing the Infinite Monkey Theorem by hiring a monkey to type out our reports.
2. Ignoring the Theory of Relativity and hoping it goes away.
3. Investigating ways to break the Law of Diminishing Returns by introducing a new form of productivity-boosting, sanity-sapping coffee.

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Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous:

Appendix: The Ominous Omnibus