The Method of Brewing

Sub-Method of Steaming

Wherein one steams the coffee to a state of optimal flavor release.

Steaming as a Philosophical Act

Sub-Method of Pour-Over

Wherein one pours coffee into a cup, defying the tyranny of automated brewing devices.

Pour-Over as a Statement of Individuality

Sub-Method of French Press

Wherein one uses a device that looks like a medieval torture device to extract the perfect cup.

French Press as a Tool of Coercion

Sub-Method of Cold Brew

Wherein one leaves the coffee alone for 24 hours, abandoning all hope for a flavorful cup.

Cold Brew as a Metaphysical Experience

Sub-Method of Espresso

Wherein one uses an industrial-strength device to crush the coffee, defying the laws of human dignity.

Epresso as a Fascist Utopia

And so, the Method of Brewing stands as a testament to human ingenuity and the infinite variety of coffee ontologies.