Meeting 43: The Rise of Ghosting

1.0 The Rise of Ghosting

Ghosting: The art of suddenly and without warning, disappearing on someone, leaving them wondering if they're still human or just a particularly skilled magician.

According to sources, 9 out of 10 singles are now experts at ghosting. It's a skill that requires a delicate balance of empathy, emotional detachment, and a good Wi-Fi signal.

2.0 The Technique

Avoidance, Denial, and Misdirection. The classic ghosting triple threat.

Step 1: Avoidance. Pretend you're in the middle of a critical business call or a Netflix binge.

Step 2: Denial. Tell the victim that you're not interested, but you're not a jerk. You're just "taking a break" from human interaction.

Step 3: Misdirection. Send a string of increasingly ridiculous excuses for your absence, until the other person is convinced you're being stalked by a team of highly skilled ninjas.

3.0 The Legal Consequences

Did you know that ghosting is now a recognized form of emotional abuse? Don't worry, it's not like we're actually going to face the consequences or anything.

But seriously, don't ghost. It's not worth the potential lawsuits and therapy bills. Trust us, we're experts.

4.0 The Ghosting Rehabilitation Center

A place where the lost souls of the dating world can come to heal and learn to love again. Or, at the very least, to learn how to craft a good exit strategy.

Our state-of-the-art facilities feature:

Trained therapists who specialize in post-ghosting trauma
A comprehensive curriculum in "The Art of the Perfect Exit"
Regular sessions with a licensed expert in "How to Not Be a Jerk"

5.0 The Ghosting Support Group

A safe space for those who have been ghosted to share their stories, seek comfort, and plot their revenge.

Meet the other victims of the dating world and learn how to turn the tables on your ghoster.

Meet Sarah, who was ghosted by her boyfriend of 3 years on their wedding day
Meet Dave, who was ghosted by a Tinder match after 5 minutes of conversation

6.0 The Ghosting Revenge Agenda

A comprehensive guide on how to turn the tables on your ghoster and make them regret the day they ever laid eyes on you.

From sending a series of increasingly ridiculous texts to orchestrating a fake social media campaign, we've got you covered.

We also offer a free consultation with our team of highly trained Ghosting Revenge Specialists.

7.0 The Ghosting Super Soldiers

A secretive organization of highly trained agents who specialize in tracking down and dealing with ghosts.

Our agents are equipped with the latest in ghost-hunting technology and a healthy dose of sarcasm.

They'll leave no stone unturned (or in this case, no ghost unghosted).

8.0 The Ghosting Super Soldiers Training Academy