Phase One: The Abyss

The Agenda for Total Despair

9:00 AM - Arrival, Panic, and General Despair

10:00 AM - Breakfast of Champions: stale coffee and yesterday's leftover pizza

11:00 AM - "The Plan": an exercise in futility and pointless meetings

Phase 2: The Never-Ending Spiral of Despair

Important Notes:

Please bring your own sanity, as well as your own lunch, as we will not provide any.

We will not be held responsible for any emotional trauma caused by this meeting.

Meeting Minutes will be available on our "Intranet" page.