Confidential Meeting Minutes - Decision 3452: Bonus Mandate Revisions

Appendix 1: Unofficial Notes from the Unpaid Intern

Summary: The team debated the finer points of bonus disbursement, ultimately concluding that everyone gets a bonus, except for Bob, who still has to do the dishes.

Resolution:

We will be revising the bonus structure to include an extra week of paid vacation time, but only for those who have not yet achieved "Bonus Nirvana" status. Those who have already achieved this rare and elusive state shall receive an extra bonus for their trouble.

Action Items:

1. Update bonus policy to reflect prophets of bonus enlightenment

2. Send out memo to Bob regarding the dishes

3. Create a bonus tracking spreadsheet with more columns for "Bonus Nirvana" achievers (and those who are just pretending to be)

Next Steps:

A. Review and revise bonus tracking spreadsheet to ensure accurate representation of Bonus Nirvana achievers

B. Host a team meeting to discuss the true meaning of "Bonus Nirvana"

Hyperlinks:

Appendix 2: Bonus Nirvana Manifesto | Appendix 3: Bonus Disbursement Flowchart