In response to the crippling ennui and existential dread plaguing the office, management has decided that every Friday shall henceforth be a Mandatory Disco Party Friday.
Employees are expected to don their finest polyester suits, platform shoes, and polyester shirts, and report to the conference room for a day of non-stop disco music, awkward dance moves, and forced merriment.
A strict dress code will be enforced, with a zero-tolerance policy for bell-bottoms, mustaches, and excessive use of hairspray.
Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to: being forced to listen to an endless loop of elevator music, being stuck in the supply closet with Karen from HR, and/or being subjected to a sternly-worded memo from the CEO.
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