Sub-Resolution 3: The Great Pizza Topping Conundrum

Wherein the council of Elders decrees that pineapple as a pizza topping shall henceforth be known as the greatest culinary abomination of our time.

By order of the Great Pizza Overlord, all future pizzas shall be made with pepperoni, sausage, and mushrooms, and any deviation from this decree shall be punishable by exile to the Island of the Misfit Meats.

Sub-Resolution 4: The Meat-astrophe

Sub-Resolution 5: The Sauce-gate Scandal