According to our team of expert, highly-paid researchers, the Aggressive Whisker Theory is the key to unlocking human greatness.
It states that the more aggressive your whiskers, the greater your ability to mass-age the mental.
Don't just take our word for it, though! Our studies have shown that people with the most aggressive whiskers are 99% more likely to solve world hunger, 100% more likely to win at beer pong, and 500% more likely to eat an entire pizza by themselves.
But don't just take our word for it! See for yourself with the Aggressive Whisker Generator, available here.
Or, if you're not ready for that level of commitment, try our free Whisker-Measuring Tool, here.