Tier 3: The Cerebral Cacophony
Get ready for the most avant-garde, mind-bending experience in the mental health industry! As a Tier 3 subscriber, you'll have access to:
- Bi-weekly sessions with our team of certified, slightly-irksome therapists
- A personalized, algorithmically-generated playlist tailored to your specific brand of neuroses
- Exclusive access to our in-house, experimental, and occasionally-effective treatments
- Priority access to our annual, invitation-only, and totally-not-cancelled "Mental Health Retreat" in the Swiss Alps