Tier 4: The "I'm-Completely-Loony-For-You" Package

For the truly, deeply, and completely enthused, our Tier 4 package offers:

• Unlimited access to our exclusive, members-only chat forum where you can discuss the meaning of life with fellow loonies.
• A personalized, hand-delivered subscription box filled with an assortment of artisanal, small-batch, sanity-testing treats.
• A private, one-on-one session with our team of expert, certified, highly-trained Loony Consultants who'll help you unlock your inner, most innermost thoughts.
• A complimentary, signed, and numbered print copy of our bestselling, most-likely-to-never-be-read-again book "The Art of Being Loonier Than Thou".
• And, of course, our signature, limited-edition, ultra-rare "I'm-Completely-Loony-For-You" t-shirt, available only to our most ardent, most dedicated, most utterly, completely, and totally loon-tastic fans!

Subscription Price: $100,000,000,000,000 (Yes, you read that right. It's a steal!)

Sign up today and join the ranks of the truly, utterly, and completely loony!

Upgrade to Tier 5: The "I'm-Loony-er-Than-You'll-Ever-Be" Package for the ultimate, most-utterly, completely, and totally, utterly, and totally loony experience!

Downgrade to Tier 3: The "Mildly-Loony-But-Not-Too-Bad" Package if you're not quite ready for the full, unbridled looniness of Tier 4.