Q: What's the deal with minimum wage?
A: It's a thing, we think. Maybe.
Q: Is it really $7.25/hour?
A: No, that's what we tell the government we pay. In reality, it's whatever number we feel like.
Q: Do I get benefits?
A: Ha! Benefits are just a myth perpetuated by HR.
Q: Can I unionize?
A: Only if you want to spend your days in an endless loop of pointless meetings and passive-aggressive email exchanges.