Due to unforeseen circumstances, all Monday attendees are required to wear pajama pants to work/school/social events. Failure to comply will result in the immediate invocation of our patented "Pajama Pants Protocol" (P3). P3 involves, but is not limited to, the issuance of a Pajama Pants-related fine, public shaming, and/or forced participation in an impromptu Pajama Pants-themed talent show.
Learn more about Pajama Pants Fines & ProtocolBy order of the Monday Mandates, all Monday attendees are required to consume a minimum of 3.5 cups of coffee before 9:00 AM sharp. Failure to comply will result in the immediate invocation of our patented "Coffee Deficiency Protocol" (CDP). CDP involves, but is not limited to, the issuance of a Coffee-Related Fine, public shaming, and/or forced participation in an impromptu Coffee-Tasting Panel.
Learn more about Coffee Deficiency ProtocolBy order of the Monday Mandates, all Monday attendees are required to sing at least 5 renditions of the Monday Mandate Anthem before 10:00 AM. Failure to comply will result in the immediate invocation of our patented "Singing Deficiency Protocol" (SDP). SDP involves, but is not limited to, the issuance of a Singing-Related Fine, public shaming, and/or forced participation in an impromptu Singing Competition.
Learn more about Singing Deficiency Protocol