We're here. On the planet. The one everyone's always talking about. Mars: The Cool Cousin, Jupiter: The Gas Bag, Venus: The Sulfuric Nightmare, and Mercury: The Scorching Hot Mess.

You know, people always say we're so diverse. So unique. But let's be honest, it's all just a bunch of water. Literally. We're 71% water and 99% overhyped.

Don't even get me started on the weather. The Moon has better moonlight, The Sun has better sunburns, and Saturn has better rings. But hey, at least we have Rainbows!