Why You're Not As Cool As You Think You Are

Newsflash: you're not actually cool. Sorry.

Here are some facts to drive the point home:

• You've never actually done anything cool.
• You've never even attempted anything cool.
• Your "risqué" fashion sense is actually just you wearing last week's dirty socks.
• Your "adventurous" spirit is really just you trying not to die alone at night.

Don't worry, though! There's still hope for you.

Here are some subtopics to help you get started:

How to Be Cool Without Actually Being Cool

Why Your Ex Looks Younger Than You Do

How to Get Away with Not Being Cool For as Long as Possible