As a master of bureaucratic doublespeak, you know the art of appearing neutral while secretly taking a side. It's a delicate balance of words, a dance of semantics, and a game of cat-and-mouse with the truth.
Here are some essential tips to help you master this subtle art:
- Just pretend to listen, but really listen to your own heart.
- Never say never, but nevertheless say always.
- It depends what I mean by it depends.
- Use the phrase "it's not what it seems" to mean "it's exactly what it is."
- And finally, always remember: a lie is only a lie if it's not a truth in context.
With these tips, you'll be well on your way to becoming a master of bureaucratic doublespeak. Remember, it's all about appearing neutral while secretly taking a side.