Suggestions for the Recently Departed

It has come to our attention that the following individuals have once again abandoned their posts in a fit of despair, citing "creative differences" with the stapler mafia. We suggest they never leave the building again. Seriously, who needs that much freedom?

Betrayer of the Unsuspecting Newbie - A stern warning about the dangers of trusting one's coworkers.
The Great Stapler Incident of 2022 - A cautionary tale about the importance of secure stapler storage.
Why Didn't They Just Use the Photocopier? - A series of confounding questions about office supply usage.

We're watching you. We have the security cameras.

Suggest They Should Never Leave the Building Again, But Actually Just Leave the Building Again (Part Deux) They Just Need a Break from the Break Room

Stay vigilant, office dwellers.