Confidential Transcript

Office Memo

Stapler:

Jane Doe: "I'm telling you, I'm a professional stapler!

Manager: "That's not how you use a stapler. You're doing it wrong."

Jane Doe: "I've seen the training video. I'm a certified stapler expert."

Manager: "There's a stapler manual in the supply closet. Read it."

Jane Doe: "I have. I've read it. Multiple times."

Manager: "Fine. But don't come crying to HR when you jam it again."

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Disclaimer: The events described above are entirely fictional and any resemblance to real events is purely coincidental.