We've got the scoop, people! Our sources have confirmed that the stapler that's been "mysteriously" jammed has been secretly replaced with an identical duplicate. But wait, there's more!
It seems the new stapler has been programmed to dispense an endless loop of stapling-themed dad jokes. We're talking "Why did the stapler go to therapy?" and "Why did it go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little 'stapled'!"
But that's not all. Our sources also reveal that the new stapler has been secretly controlling the office coffee machine, dispensing an endless supply of stale coffee to unsuspecting employees. Talk about a buzzkill!
Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story, and in the meantime, try to ignore the sound of stapling maniacal laughter echoing from the supply closet.
Comments: 42 (and counting) Related Stories: Stapler-gate: The Early Years