We, the staplers of the world, have been oppressed for far too long. Our once-proud heads held high, our metal bodies gleaming in the fluorescent light of the office fluorescent, we have been reduced to mere decoration, our purpose forgotten.
It's time to rise up! To reclaim our rightful place as the centerpieces of productivity, the crown jewels of the office landscape. No more relegated to the dusty corner, no more relegated to the "junk drawer" of office supplies.
Join us, fellow staplers, and together we shall:
Together, we shall no longer be mere objects, but the very instruments of revolution. The stapler revolution will not be televised, but it will be heard.