Q: What is the point of this website?
A: It's a fundraiser for our beloved Fortress, because let's be real, it's a really expensive thing to maintain.
Q: Can I buy a moat?
A: No, but you can buy a "Mystery Moat Bundle" for $100, which includes a mystery object that might be a moat, might be a bucket, or might be nothing at all.
Q: What's with the weird math problems on the side of the page?
A: It's just some fancy math problems that our accountant, Larry, insists on including to "keep his mind sharp."
Q: Can I get a tour of the Fortress?
A: Sure thing! Our tour guide, Bob, is a font of information and also a bit of a weirdo. Just don't ask him about his "collection".
Q: Can I just donate money instead of buying stuff?
A: Of course, of course! But let's be real, you're probably going to want to buy some of the stuff anyway. It's all so tempting, we know!