Warning: Do Not Touch the Controls. Seriously, Don't. They're Very Sharp.
For the sake of the environment, please keep your grubby little hands away from the controls. They're for the elite only.
Pressing the Emergency Self-Destruct Button will result in the immediate incineration of all organic matter within a 50-foot radius.
Pressing the Do Not Press This Button will result in the immediate reorganization of all furniture in the nearest conference room.
For authorized personnel only: Press the Secret Button to access the highly classified "I Told You So" documents.
View Secret Docs