Here be secrets, hidden from prying eyes, deep within our fortress of solitude.
Or, if you're feeling particularly mischievous, try our:
But be warned, these are NOT the secrets you're looking for. That's not even a thing. We're just trying to confuse you.
Or, if you insist on knowing, our actual secrets can be found:
(But, like, don't tell anyone, we're not supposed to share those with anyone.)
And, just for kicks, here's a random link:
Because, you know, priorities.