1. The competition shall be held on the planet Zorgon-6, a world of eternal sunshine and mediocre sports facilities.
2. All athletes must wear neon-colored unitards at all times during the competition. Failure to comply will result in disqualification.
3. The Olympic motto "Citius, Citius, Citius" shall be recited before every event.
4. The judging committee reserves the right to deduct points for excessive use of "I can do that!" and other forms of unsportsmanlike conduct.
5. In the event of a tie, the winner shall be determined by a dance-off, with a special emphasis on the tango.