Survival Guide to Not Being a Human
A Guide for Those Who Have Already Abandoned All Hopes and Dreams
Step 1: Give up on love. It's overrated, trust us.
Learn more about the futility of human relationships
Step 2: Develop a taste for bitter, black coffee. It's the only way to wake up.
Explore the dark, rich world of caffeine dependence
Step 3: Learn the art of ignoring the world's problems. Focus on your own.
Discover the power of willful ignorance
Step 4: Find a good hiding spot. Literally. In a dumpster, under a bridge, somewhere.
Read about the joys of living off the grid
Step 5: Repeat steps 1-4 daily until you've lost all sense of purpose and meaning.