Our Guarantee: Because Your Sanity Matters
At Our Guarantee, we promise to make your life easier, one absurd guarantee at a time.
Our Promise
We will:
- We will not make you watch cat videos for 24 hours straight.
- We will not force you to listen to elevator music on repeat.
- We will not turn your toaster into a sentient, judgmental being.
- We will not replace all your furniture with whoopee cushions.
What's Not Covered
We're not responsible for any damage caused by:
- Your own ineptitude.
- Ancient curses that have been awakened by our guarantee.
- The apocalypse.
Side Effects
You may experience:
- Spontaneous happiness.
- Increased productivity.
- A sense of accomplishment.
Subpages:
Our Guarantee Terms and Conditions
Our Guarantee Warranty
Our Guarantee Claim