Phase 3: The Coup

Welcome to Phase 3, where the revolution will not be televised, but it will be livestreamed on all the major social media channels.

Here, the great and powerful leaders of our great nation will guide you through the intricacies of taking over the world. Or, at the very least, the local convenience store.

Phase 3: The Coup is not for the faint of heart, or the easily distracted. You will be required to attend at least 3 hours of intense brainwashing, followed by a series of rigorous physical training sessions, and a comprehensive reading list of 500 pages of revolutionary literature.

• Phase 3-1: The Art of Seduction
• Phase 3-2: The Science of Mind Control
• Phase 3-4: The Dark Arts
• Phase 4-3: The Secret Identity
• Phase 5-95: The Final Phase

Or, you know what? Forget the reading list. Just go to Phase 4-3: The Secret Identity and pretend you read all the books. We won't judge you.