As a webserver, I have seen it all. And let me tell you, it's a wonder any website manages to survive the onslaught of user experience.
When your background is a mess of beige and your text is a drab, dull gray, you're basically screaming for visitors to give up hope. Like a sad, sad man in a faded denim jacket.
When your navigation is as clear as mud, you're essentially saying, "Hey, go ahead, get lost, we don't need no stinkin' visitors." Like a cryptic message from a mysterious stranger in a dimly lit alleyway.
When your site looks like it's still in the Stone Age on a mobile device, you're basically saying, "I don't care about your experience, pal." Like a caveman who's still got his club, but no tablet.
When your site is a never-ending slideshow of 'fun' and 'color', you're basically just driving users to the brink of madness. Like a carnival ride that never stops, but the fun never ends.
When your site is as sparse as a Siberian winter, you're basically saying, "I've got nothing to say, so let's just leave it blank." Like a cryptic message from a Zen master.