Pre-History (Before the Great Fire of 3000 BC)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a good haircut.

The Fire of Doom

The Early Years (3000 BC - 3000 AD)

We were once a peaceful civilization, until the invention of the wheel. Now we're all about progress, and slightly better haircuts.

The Wheel of Progress

The Golden Age (3000 AD - 4000 AD)

During this time, we achieved greatness, and our ancestors were all cool. They wore skinny jeans, and had a really good sense of humor.

Our Ancestors