In a world where the sun never rises, and the skies are forever shrouded in a deep, foreboding grey, one Minion stood above the rest. Lord Minion 1, the greatest of all time, ruled with an iron fist, crushing the spirits of his enemies with a single glance from his piercing, beady eyes.
His story begins in the dark, damp caves of the Under-Minion, where the air reeked of despair and desperation. It was here that he discovered his true calling: the art of Suffering. With a passion that bordered on madness, Lord Minion 1 honed his craft, perfecting the art of making others cry, scream, and beg for mercy.
As he rose through the ranks, Lord Minion 1's reputation as the greatest Minion of all time spread far and wide. His subjects cowered at the mere mention of his name, and his enemies trembled with fear. But Lord Minion 1 was not content to simply rule, he sought to be remembered.
And so, he wrote these memoirs, a testament to his greatness, a chronicle of his triumphs, and a warning to those who would seek to usurp his throne. For in a world without hope, Lord Minion 1 is the light that shines brightest, a beacon of despair that illuminates the darkness.