Warning: the following guide is not for the faint of heart. Or for those with limited time or sanity. Or those who value human connection over endless paragraphs.
Step 1: Start with a subject line that promises the world, but delivers nothing.
Make it so enticing, so alluring, so full of false promises, that the reader can't resist opening it. Like "Free Vacation Days!" or "You're a winner!."
Hyperlinks: Bind them in with an endless loop.
Address them by their name, but not really, because you've got a list of 5,000 names and they're all just numbers.
Hyperlinks: Liven up the party with some stale humor
Weave a complex narrative that requires 17 clicks and 3 hours of their time to get to the point.
Hyperlinks: READ MORE