Should I Get a Pet?

You're overthinking everything, aren't you? Fine.

You'll never have a social life again, but hey, at least you'll have a living thing to blame your existence on.

Here are some points to consider:

• Will I have to get up for the 3 am feeding? No, you will not.
• Will it destroy my furniture? Only if you're not careful, but let's be real, you're probably not that careful.
• Will I have to deal with the existential dread of watching my pet grow old and die? Yes, but that's just life, isn't it?

I want a pet for companionship, but I'll settle for a toaster.

But wait, there's more! If you're still unsure, ask yourself:

What if I don't have a yard?

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous:

What if I get a pet that's also obsessed with overthinking everything?