Because, let's be real, who needs actual softness when you can just pretend?
We've got a whole team of highly trained, highly paid experts who will assure you that paper is, in fact, soft as a cloud. (Just don't ask them about the stapler)
Join us in our crusade to redefine the meaning of softness. Click here for more information.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, click here to take our patented Softness Test.