We're glad you're here. You must be worried about something, because, well, that's what paranoid optimists do.
Here's the thing: everything will probably be fine. Probably. Maybe.
But just in case, let's make some contingency plans, shall we?
Don't forget: it's not the end of the world... probably.
Or maybe it is, and that's okay too.
Either way, we're going to have some snacks.
Disclaimer: this website may or may not be affiliated with actual optimism or paranoia. Probably not.