Contingency Planning for the Utterly Unprepared
Are you tired of living on the edge of catastrophe? Do you find that every time you turn around, there's another emergency waiting for you? Fear not, friend! The Contingency Planning Agency is here to help!
Emergency Preparedness: Because Who Needs a Plan, Anyway?Our team of expertly trained sardines will guide you through the process of developing a comprehensive contingency plan. Because, honestly, who needs a plan? But, you know, just in case.
Snack Planning for the Apocalypse: Because Rations MatterDon't get caught with nothing but dust and despair when the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents arrive. Let us help you stock up on the essentials: granola bars, energy bars, and, of course, artisanal cheese crackers.
Disaster Response: Because When All Else Fails, Dance the Night AwayOur team will teach you how to respond to any situation with style and poise. Whether it's a Category 5 hurricane or a rogue AI takeover, we've got your back... with disco.