The Agony of Love: A Guide to Love Bombing

Love bombing: the ultimate relationship nightmare. It's when someone drops everything in their life to obsess over you, often with a mix of grand romantic gestures and suffocating intensity.

Here are some symptoms to look out for:

• They're always calling or texting you, even when you're not around.
• They show up at your workplace or favorite coffee shop, uninvited.
• They're constantly posting about you on social media.
• They've changed their entire life to be around you, often with a disturbing level of enthusiasm.

Don't worry, we've got you covered. Here's some advice:

• Block their number.
• Set boundaries, like a moat around a castle.
• Practice your 'I'm busy' face in the mirror until it's perfected.
• Consider a restraining order, just in case.

And remember, love bombing is not love. It's just a fancy way of saying 'I need to control you like a puppeteer controls a marionette'.