Paranoid Predictions - Safety Guidelines

Because We Don't Want You to Get Hurt (Seriously, It's Not That Hard)

Don't touch_goals_ or you'll get hurt! Also, don't eat the cheese, it's not for eating. Don't look at your neighbor's toaster, it's not for gawking at.

Also, don't try to predict the apocalypse, it's just not worth it. We've got professionals for that. Like, seriously, don't try to be like us. We're the experts. You're just... not.

But, if you insist on being all paranoid and predicting doom and gloom, here are some safety guidelines to help you avoid, you know, actual doom and gloom:

• Wear protective eyewear while reading about the impending doom.
• Avoid prophets, they're prophets-ically hazardous.
• Don't talk to yourself, it's not a conversation.

And, if you're still reading this, you're probably a glutton for punishment. In that case, here's some more:

Safety First, Always (More Safety Guidelines)

Safety Guidelines for the Mentally Insanitary

(Note: The links are just placeholders, don't try to click 'em, it's all just for show)